A mindful marriage can mean a deeper connection and more harmonious relationship at home. Valentine’s Day is almost here. It’s often a time we are thinking of flowers, gifts and a special dinner. The best gift you could give each other this Valentine’s Day is a closer relationship.
Here’s 5 tips for creating a deeper connection with your spouse –
- Drop the agenda.
It’s common to keep a scorecard of sorts in a relationship. You tally everything you’ve done in one column and what they haven’t done in the other. Lose the agenda and be present in the moment, rather than dredging up things from the past or borrowing trouble from the future. Accept your feelings and emotions in the present, do not drag them into the future.
- Don’t try to change them.
You married your partner for who they are. Not who you wanted them to be (hopefully, at least!). Rather than creating discord by attempting to change who they are, accept that there are things about them that might frustrate you and look for ways to temper that.
- Make each other a priority
Put the phones down. Turn the tv off. Grab a blanket and go lie outside under the clouds or the stars. Take the time to simply enjoy being with each other. Remember how calming it is to lay your head on their chest and listen to their heart beat. Disconnect from the outside and reconnect with each other.
- Be aware.
Take note of your moods and your partner’s moods. Recognize there may be times that are not well suited for a difficult – or any – conversation. Let him or her know that you are having a bad day and just need some time to think through your thoughts. If it’s the other person who is out of sorts offer them space. I know my husband needs to run. He runs for the exercise, the physical challenge, stress relief, and definitely the social time! I am not as outgoing as he is – I appreciate he needs the time to be with others.
- Show appreciation.
Notice the small things and show your appreciation. It’s easy to nag about the things someone else doesn’t do. Make a point to notice the things they ARE doing. Thanks for bathing the kids. You made my day when you brought me coffee. Thanks for letting me sleep in this morning. Words of affirmation can change a relationship in big ways!
Are you practicing mindfulness in your relationship? How has it improved because of it?